How to Talk to Your Teen About Substance Abuse
Talking to your teen about substance abuse can be a tough conversation to have… But it’s an essential one! As a parent, you play an influential role in your teenager's life, and opening up about drug use can have a significant impact on their well-being. It may seem daunting, but by having an honest conversation, you can strengthen your relationship with your teen and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
As a parent, you have a significant influence on your teen's life. One way to strengthen your relationship with your teen is to start a conversation about drug use - we know… Easier said than done, right? Stick with us though, we’re here to help! This approach allows for open communication and shows your teenager that you trust them, and they can trust you. Additionally, opening the conversation may encourage them to speak to you about other topics, such as peer and romantic relationships, puberty, and mental health challenges – allowing for deeper and more meaningful conversations with your teen! Allowing your teen to speak their mind may create conflict but allow them to continue communicating – show them that they have a voice and that you’re listening.
Before we really dive in, it’s important to be aware of the factors that may increase the likelihood of your teen experimenting with substances. Factors that may increase the chances of teen substance use include:
Low self-esteem
Drug use by friends
Peer pressure
Conflict in families
Poor grades
Lack of connection at school
Parents have the ability to have a large impact on their teens as they spend a huge amount of time with them and can play as role models. Opening the conversation about drug use can strengthen your relationship with them. This allows for open communication and shows your teen that you trust them, and they can trust you. This may allow your teens to talk to you about other topics say as peer/romantic relationships, puberty, and mental health challenges
It’s also important to see things from your teenager’s point of view. Teens may think they can’t talk to their parents about certain things, for fear of judgment or repercussions. Allowing your teen to speak their mind may create conflict but it also allows them to continue communicating and shows them that they have a voice. If your teen argues with you, it does not mean that they are disrespecting you. They are asserting their opinion which creates opportunities for stronger and deeper conversations!
Exploring the reasons why they might be curious or why they are using substances {or listening to the situations that surround them} can form an even stronger relationship with your teen and show them that you can be a channel of support for them.
Tips for talking to your teen about substance use:
Make your values/plans as specific as possible. Statements like “be smart” and “make good decisions” are vague and your teen may interpret them differently. Be specific and intentional about the values you want to instill. Create rules and boundaries with your teen and let them be involved in the process
Be curious with your teen and show them you’re listening. Ask them about their knowledge and perspective on substances and try to respond with non-judgmental and reflective statements. Meet them where they’re at and refrain from allowing your own agenda to take over the conversation
Think first, act second. Keep your emotions regulated and stay calm during the conversation – and keep an open mind. Be mindful of your own biases and assumptions about substance use. And most importantly, don’t assume - ask!
Keep the conversation ongoing. Find opportunities to check in with them such as driving them to school, during meals, or shopping. Keep an eye on their mental health and well-being to assess any declines or abnormal behaviours.
Create a plan with them if they are going out and plan to be under the influence {ie. who they can call, buddy system, when to say no}. Let them know that you’re there to support them and are ready to listen whenever they need you.
Don’t forget about driving under the influence! Explain the dangers of driving under the influence for themselves and others and create a verbal or written contract about going out or using the car. Promise to pick them up at any time (even 2am!) with no questions asked so you know that they’ll be getting home safely.
Talking to your teenager about substance use is an important and necessary conversation to have as a parent. By approaching the topic with openness, honesty, and respect, you can strengthen your relationship with your teen and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. Remember to be specific about your values, stay curious and listen to your teen, keep the conversation ongoing, and create a plan with them for staying safe. With these tips, you can help your teen make informed and responsible decisions about substance use, and show them that they have your support and understanding every step of the way.
This post was written by wellbe’s social worker Rosalyn Totah. If you are in need of support, you can book an in-person or virtual visit with our social workers here.