Creating a Safe Space | Talking to Your Kids about Sexuality and Gender Identity: A Guide for Supportive Parents & Guardians
Understanding Gender and Sexuality: Exploring the Spectrum of Identities
As parents, we play a crucial role in shaping our children’s understanding of the world. When it comes to topics like sexuality and gender identity, open and supportive conversations can be an opportunity to foster acceptance, empathy, and a sense of belonging in our children.
It’s normal to feel a bit apprehensive about broaching these subjects, but by creating a safe space for discussion, we can help our kids navigate these aspects of their lives with confidence and understanding. We’re here to help provide some important conversation starters and tips that will empower you to have these important conversations with your little humans.
Gender vs. Sexuality: Nurturing Understanding and Acceptance
Before we dive into some helpful tips for discussing sexuality and gender identity with your children, we need to understand the difference between these two concepts!
Gender is a deeply personal and socially constructed identity, encompassing how one identifies themselves as a man, woman, nonbinary person, and beyond! This may or may not align with the sex assigned at birth. It's important to remember that gender can be expressed on a spectrum and can be diverse and fluid, including identities like agender, genderfluid, and gender non-conforming.
On the other hand, sexuality refers to who a person is attracted to and can include a wide range of orientations, such as gay, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual.
Understanding and respecting these distinctions helps us create a more inclusive and accepting environment for our children to explore their identities.
Click here to learn more about the difference between gender and sexuality.
Tips for Talking to Your Children about Sexuality and Gender Identity
As parents, it's essential to lay a foundation of open-mindedness, support, and acceptance when discussing sexuality and gender identity with your children. Here are some tips to help guide these important discussions:
1. Check in with Yourself:
Before engaging in these conversations, it's important to reflect on our own beliefs and biases! Take a moment to ask yourself questions like:
What is my gender identity?
What expectations do I associate with gender and gender roles?
Have I unintentionally encouraged or discouraged a particular gender identity for my child?
This self-awareness will help foster a more understanding and supportive dialogue as you navigate this with your children.
2. Point Out Exceptions to Gender Rules:
Break down stereotypes by highlighting exceptions to gender roles. For example, remind your children that anyone can enjoy different activities or that colours, clothing, hairstyles, and makeup are not exclusive to one gender or another.. By challenging traditional stereotypes, you empower your child to explore their own authentic self as they grow & learn!
3. Start Early and Keep Lines of Communication Open All the Time:
Early conversations about diversity and inclusivity lay the foundation for understanding sexuality and gender identity. Incorporate age-appropriate discussions about different types of families, friendships and expressions of love. Rather than treating these discussions as a one-time event, create an atmosphere of ongoing dialogue. Encourage your children to ask questions, share their thoughts, and express their feelings about gender and sexuality. This continuous conversation helps them understand that their identity {and that of others} can evolve and change over time.
4. Embrace the Fluidity of Gender:
Explain to your children that gender can be fluid. It's okay for them not to be certain about their own identity and to explore different expressions. Encourage them to embrace this process of self-discovery, assuring them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
5. Encourage Self-Exploration:
Nurture an environment that allows your children to explore their own gender identity and expression. Provide resources, such as books or online materials, that showcase diverse gender experiences. Let them know that you celebrate their journey of self-discovery.
Supporting Your Child's Journey: Nurturing Acceptance
If your child begins questioning their own sexuality or gender identity, it's so important to provide them with a nurturing and supportive environment to do so in. Here's how you can be there for them along their journey:
Stay Open-Minded
Approach your child's questions and concerns with an open mind. Listen to them attentively and validate their experiences. Show them that you are ready to understand and support them unconditionally.
Educate Yourself
Take the initiative to educate yourself about various gender identities and sexual orientations. This knowledge will enable you to engage in more informed discussions with your child and help them navigate their own journey confidently.
Show Genuine Interest
Express curiosity about your child's experiences and interests. Ask questions about their thoughts and feelings while respecting their boundaries. By showing genuine interest, you convey your support and willingness to learn alongside them.
Continue Checking In
Keep the lines of communication open by regularly checking in with your child. Ask how they're feeling, if they have any questions, and offer a listening ear. Consistent support lets them know they're never alone on their journey and that you’re there for them!
Embrace the Fluidity of the Process
Remind your child that exploring their sexuality and gender identity is a fluid process. Encourage them not to worry about having all the answers right away and assure them that it's okay to be uncertain - they're still learning & growing! Reinforce your role as a secure and safe person in their life that they can trust.
Express Gratitude for Their Trust
Thank your child for sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. Expressing gratitude reinforces their trust and strengthens the bond you share. Let them know they can always turn to you for guidance and support.
By engaging in open and supportive conversations, we can foster acceptance, empathy, and a sense of belonging in their lives. It starts with self-reflection, challenging stereotypes, and maintaining ongoing dialogue. Encouraging self-exploration and embracing the fluidity of gender are key aspects of nurturing their journey. Together, let's ensure our children feel valued and supported as they navigate the diverse spectrum of gender and sexuality, fostering a future of acceptance and inclusivity.
This post was written by wellbe’s social worker Rosalyn Totah. If you or your children are in need of support, you can book an in-person or virtual visit with our social workers here.