How to Connect With Your Child When You’re Feeling Disconnected
We’ve all been there. Those moments/days/weeks that feel like it’s all coming down. Work is nuts. The car breaks down. The daycare closes. The house is a mess. The school projects are due. We are go, go, go. And then we look around and the world is gone crazy. The news is baffling. We haven’t seen friends in ages. Vacations are just a dream. The goals we had for the year are out the window. We feel isolated. Frazzled. Inpatient. Disappointed.
Add to that… the kids are a mess. No one is listening. No one’s doing what they’re asked. Everyone’s overtired and touchy. Chaos.
Am I right? So how do we stop the spin and slow the roll? We connect. It’s actually kind of simple. When life’s not working it’s because it’s not connected. Lights don’t work when they’re not connected. Nor do we and nor do our kids.
A few ideas for keeping connected with ourselves AND our kids
Connect with yourself first!
Brene Brown says that our connection to others is only as solid as our connection to ourselves. Word! Our kids won’t feel a genuineness in our attempts to connect if we are not “feeling it” ourselves!
Self-care.
You can’t pour from an empty cup! You might not have time for a day at the spa, but find time for a moment to yourself or an activity you enjoy that makes you feel more yourself. A run, a walk, a bath, a chat with a friend. Do you.
Make the time.
Build family time into your routine. Make dinners about together time or checking in on everyone’s day. Follow that crazy week with a weekend afternoon of downtime together.
Touch.
Little bits of affection when you find the moment can be meaningful and remind your child you care. Even if it’s that quick hug or touch on the head as you’re rushing to the next task, it’s a physical connection we can actually feel and it does wonders for our brains!
Be mindful.
That doesn’t have to mean zen. Just watch, check in, wonder aloud. How did today land for you? How did it land for your child? Why are you feeling that extra tension today? If you’re feeling it, is your child? Just taking the pause to think and reflect might actually slow the world down a tiny bit.
Cut yourself some slack.
The laundry will get done eventually. You’re not superhuman and it doesn’t have to be built in a day. Snuggling on the couch to watch a movie might actually be just what you and your child both need.
Acknowledge mistakes.
If you missed the moment, just call it. Stopping to say we aren’t perfect is a lesson for our kids but is also a reminder that we are all human. And maybe that mistake was the universe reminding you to slow down!
Slow down. Simplify.
The world is a bit crazy these days, but that doesn’t me we have to be too.
Keep these in mind and find ways to connect with your child - and yourself!
This post was written by wellbe’s social worker Shannon Deacon. If you or your children are in need of additional resources or assistance, you can book a virtual visit with our social workers here.