8 Tips to Support Your Kids {and Yourself!} for Back to School this Fall
It’s about that time when families are thinking about the return to school. Even before the pandemic, returning to school could be a source of angst and stress for kids, youth, and parents alike. Add in the ongoing pandemic and all the uncertainty it brings, and you’ve got a recipe for a lot more stress, worry, and even anxiety. It’s important to talk about it and to prepare ourselves so we can then support our kids through this period as best we can.
Here are some tips on how you can support your family during the back-to-school season!
Gradually get back to your school year routine - start today!
Going from summer’s easy going routine to a regimented school year routine can be a shock to anyone’s system so it’s important to gradually reintroduce all the different parts to your school year routine including making lunches the night before, going to bed early, getting up early, having bags packed, etc. Start reintroducing parts of your routine now, little by little, so that the routine can be fully in place by the first day of school!
Talk talk
No, not the awesome 80s English band (just dated myself!), I’m actually talking about talking. Open up the dialogue with your kids about school. What are they thinking? How are they feeling? Be sure to ask open-ended questions that are not leading. That is, ask “how are you feeling about returning to school?” rather than “are you worried about returning to school?”.
Listen listen
No clever band reference here, just plain old listening skills. Let your kids talk and get all of their thoughts out before responding.
Take a deep breath and … accept…
Accept that there will continue to be a lot of uncertainty this year, despite our hopes that things would be different this time around. Accept the things you can control and the things that you cannot.
Keep this in mind...
Many parents and kids are feeling more anxious than usual about this upcoming school year. I’ve been hearing from a lot of children, youth, and parents who have similar concerns: “How can I support my little ones, when I’m struggling too?”, “I’m scared to go back to school with COVID”, “I didn’t make friends last year, I won’t make friends this year”. These are all comments that I’ve heard from clients over the last 6 months. If you’re feeling anxious about September, you’re not alone.
Create a mental health toolbox
What’s in a mental health toolbox? I’m so glad you asked! These are activities and strategies you can use for yourself, for your kids, and with your kids to help you through difficult times and moments and also things you can do as preventative steps to ensure that you are taking care of your mental health. These can include going for walks, getting out in nature, eating healthy and nutritious food, getting enough rest and sleep. They can also include things like grounding techniques and breathing exercises that you AND your kids can do - together or on your own. Mindfulness meditation is also scientifically proven to improve mental wellbeing. Give it a try!
Be certain there will be uncertainty
Trying to control the things we can’t and trying to predict the things that are uncertain is simply an exercise in making us more anxious. When you can’t control everything, try thinking of things you can control and the things you’re certain of. COVID has required us to be adaptive so try to remember that when you’re feeling worried or anxious about what the school year might look like.
Validate Validate Validate
When children tell us they are scared about something or worried that something bad might happen, our instinct as adults is to tell them that it’s going to be fine and that nothing bad will happen. While that might be true, saying that to our kids can be invalidating and makes it hard for them to take on what it is that you’re saying to them. Instead, we need to give them the space to express their thoughts and emotions. Then you can say that you understand what they are thinking and feeling and that together, you will come up with a way to figure it all out.
There is no doubt that this year will be a difficult one for most children. As parents and caregivers, it’s important to remember that you are doing the best you can for your family! You won’t have all the answers and that’s okay. If you need some extra support, please let us know. We’re here to help!
This post was written by wellbe’s social worker Claire Molloy. If you or your children are in need of additional resources or assistance, you can book a virtual visit with our social workers here.