To my Perimenopausal, Menopausal and Neurodivergent Gals: A Love Letter
— 5 min read —
This love letter served to be a little bit more challenging than I had anticipated. Not because its contents were challenging, but because I very quickly realized that my ability to sit, focus, stay on task, minimize distractions, and have a clear and strong thought process were sporadic. It’s true—the entrance into perimenopause is a strange one. I feel like my best self half of the time and the other half of the time is spent reeling myself in, taking it one moment at a time, and reminding myself that I am still me. Can anyone relate?
Let’s dig a little bit deeper and talk a little bit about Perimenopause, Menopause, and Neurodiversity. There are a lot of similarities in how Peri/Menopause and Neurodiversity manifest, and no one person experiences either of these things together in the same way. The spectrum of experience is wide and figuring out how to navigate all of the change can be overwhelming….on top of everything else we’re going through. So let’s start here.
How does Perimenopause and Menopause impact ADHD/Neurodivergency, and vice versa?
Great question.
Here’s what we know about Perimenopause/Menopause:
The decline of estrogen in the body has a direct impact on dopamine. Not only that, the drop of estrogen has significant impacts on sleep, emotion regulation, irritability, cognitive impairment, brain fog, and sexual desire (to name a few).
Here’s what we know about ADHD/Neurodivergence:
ADHD disrupts executive functioning and the ability to manage emotions, thoughts, and actions. Individuals on the ASD spectrum experience difficulties with managing their emotions, social communication, and sensory processing. Neurodiverse women may also experience brain fog, irritability, shifts in mood, forgetfulness, social anxiety, and suffer from sleep disorders (to name a few).
Here's how they impact each other:
Symptoms associated with ADHD + other neurodivergencies worsen during perimenopause and menopause. This is due to the overlap of symptoms caused by the declining estrogen levels. During this time individuals who take medications to manage symptoms of ADHD may find their medications aren’t as effective and may need them adjusted to better suit their needs. As mental health can also worsen during this time, many women are adding additional medication to manage symptoms associated with anxiety and depression.
It's no secret that the transition into perimenopause and menopause can be challenging, maddening, and sometimes scary. There’s a version of ourselves that we leave behind and move on from, and sometimes we really miss her. But the truth here is that this transition is manageable and you’re in really great company. While it is really important to know what lies ahead during the perimenopause and menopause transition, it’s also really important to know that there are other ways to think, and feel, about this time in our lives (but also, what kind of therapist would I be if we didn’t practice perspective shifting together?).
5 Positive Ways to view Perimenopause + Menopause:
Let’s be honest, we don’t initially think of fun when we think about peri/menopause. There’s a whole lot of unknown mixed with the things we are anticipating- hot flashes, sleepless nights, mood swings, irregular periods- but we can also focus on the positive things that are happening during this time, too!
1. Cessation of our most-detested, vacation-ruining, junk-food-craving, all-crappy-feeling monthly friend, Menstruation: I think it’s safe to say that we’ve ruined an item of clothing (or two) in our time because of our periods, and the amount of money we’ve spent on products that should be free (rant for another day!) is criminal! But those days are over! And it means we have one or two things less to worry about. Yay!
2. Symptom Tracking: As we navigate Perimenopause and Menopause, we can empower ourselves through this transition by keeping a log of what we are experiencing. This might look like shifts in mood, irregular spotting/periods, and changes in sleep, heart rate, skin, sexual desire, cognitive function, and memory to name a few. We want to stay on top of these shifts so that we know how to manage them!
3. Health & Wellness: Nothing forces our hand more than having no choice! But here’s the good thing: we can manage our symptoms by treating our bodies like the beautiful, amazing, glorious, strong temples they are. Proper nutrition and exercise (hello, weights!) are very welcome partners to us at any age and stage and have incredibly positive effects on women’s bodies during perimenopause and menopause.
4. Prioritize Yourself: I’m leaving this one short and sweet. We can’t help anyone else until we’ve helped ourselves. We’ve put in the time— and we absolutely, undoubtedly deserve to experience our best selves first.
5. You Are Wisdom: We’ve navigated life change so many times we could write a book! We’ve evaluated and reevaluated friendships, relationships, jobs, careers, educational pursuits, and personal preferences. We’ve navigated heartbreak, success, disappointment, change, loss, and the unknown. We’ve raised children and supported loved ones. And we continue to do these things while navigating and making sense of our feelings and emotions. You bring so much to the table. Celebrate yourself. Use what you’ve learned to support yourself in this new stage of life!
And lastly, you aren’t alone. Let’s continue to talk to our family, friends, healthcare and wellness practitioners, partners, and each other about what we are experiencing. It’s important that we access support, join groups, share what’s working and what isn’t working, and take the lead on navigating this stage of change. We’ve done it before, and we can do it again!
Want to learn more about how perimenopause + menopause and neurodivergency impact one another? Join Dr. Tiffany for Be Mindful: Embracing Neurodiversity in Perimenopause and Menopause, an online workshop, on February 25th, 2025. Click here to learn more!
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This post was written by wellbe’s registered social worker and psychotherapist Dr. Tiffany Lewis. If you or your family are in need of support, you can book an in-person or virtual visit with our social workers here.