Cultivating Self-Compassion in Your Everyday Life
— 3 min read —
What is self-compassion?
Before we can talk about self-compassion, it can be helpful to understand what compassion is. Compassion involves the emotional response we have when we try to understand the pain of others. It involves feeling empathy for someone else’s pain and taking action (things like supportive gestures, and offering kind words).
Self-compassion involves acknowledging your own suffering and responding kindly. In other words, you should treat yourself with the same warmth, care, and kindness that you’d extend to someone you love if they were in similar pain.
Why is self-compassion important?
Self-compassion helps to reduce self-criticism and negative self-talk. Thousands of research studies have shown that when individuals are more self-compassionate, they benefit greatly in terms of their mental and physical health.
Self-compassionate people are more likely to:
Feel happy and optimistic about their lives
Have a stable and unconditional sense of self-worth
Be forgiving and compassionate towards others
Cope with work challenges and feel more competent at their jobs
Draw healthy boundaries
How to implement self-compassion in your day-to-day life:
Build Self-Awareness – Start by noticing when you're being hard on yourself. Recognize that inner voice, the "bully" in your mind, and simply say, "There it is again."
Shift Your Perspective – Rather than beating yourself up, ask, "What would I say to a friend in this situation?" This helps you offer yourself the same kindness and understanding you would to someone else.
Embrace Common Humanity – Remember that suffering is part of being human. Everyone faces struggles and imperfections. Self-compassion is rooted in recognizing that you're not alone in your feelings.
Practice Mindfulness – Focus on being present in the moment. Mindfulness can help quiet negative self-talk and offer a broader perspective, allowing you to step back instead of getting swept away by harsh thoughts.
Practice Mantras – When you need a moment of compassion, try repeating phrases like, “This hurts, I’m not alone” “Others feel this way too” and “May I be kind to myself.” This simple act can help shift your mindset and create space for self-love and kindness.
Self-Compassion Exercise (take out a piece of paper and answer the following):
Think about how you would support a close friend who’s struggling. What would you say and do, what’s your tone?
Now, reflect on how you might respond to yourself in similar situations … do you notice a difference in how you treat others vs. yourself?
Why do you think that is? What may influence this?
Finally, consider how things might change if you treated yourself the same way you treat a close friend during tough times
Instead of judging or being hard on yourself, self-compassion says “I am worthy of love and kindness too”
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This post was written by wellbe’s registered social worker Sarah Bogach. If you or your family are in need of support, you can book an in-person or virtual visit with our social workers here.
Reference:
Kristen Neff - https://self-compassion.org/
Books:
The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Self Compassion By: Kristen Neff
Fierce Self Compassion – How Women can Harness Kindness to Speak up, Claim their Power and Thrive By: Kristen Neff